Jay & Tori’s BANNED Facebook Posts – Sept 7, 2023

By: Jay Marchillo

7/9/2023

Mix Mornings with Jay & Tori

Today’s show is brought to you by the letters ‘H’ and the letter ‘T’… because we learned today that Devonshire Mall will be getting a Hot Topic!  I’ve never heard of this place but Tori is excited, they say they’re a chain that’s  ‘aimed towards those interested in rock music and video games’.  Well, I’m sold.

I want to say a big hello to all of our local, soaking wet Smashing Pumpkins fans!  Just before Billy Corgan was about to wrap up an epic set at Pine Knob, the rain started.  We didn’t get to hear 1979 or Zero but at least they got to this one before things were shut down:

Have you seen a lot of dragonflies lately or are they all just hanging out at Tori’s:

And… what do you think about Windsor switching to BI-WEEKLY GARBAGE PICK-UP.  City council voted unanimously to make that happen starting in 2025.  Here’s an artists’ representation of how that might go down.

Oh, and as promised here’s the latest data concerning your favourite beer and how it’s affected by your zodiac sign, according to totally reputable new source (checks notes) … the New York Post:

Aries:  Modelo.  Because you’re not afraid of a fight, and Modelo partners with the UFC on the Fighting Chance Project that revitalizes gyms.  (???)

Taurus:  Miller High Life.  Because you “love a good time and a fine bargain.”

Gemini:  Budweiser.  Because of some nonsense about Geminis being good liars, and Budweiser being good at marketing.

Cancer:  Blue Moon.  Because cancers are “ruled by the moon.”  And because cancers are nostalgic . . . baseball is nostalgic . . . and Blue Moon was the brainchild of a place called Sandlot Brewery at Coors Field in Denver.

Leo:  Corona.  Because it’s Spanish for “crown,” and Leo is the sign of royalty.

Virgo:  Michelob Ultra.  Because Virgos are health-conscious.  And Michelob Ultra is so watered down, it’s sometimes called the “Gatorade of beers.”

Libra:  Pabst Blue Ribbon.  Libras love fairness and equality, and PBR is loved by everyone from factory workers to hipsters.

Scorpio:  Guinness.  Because Scorpios are mysterious, and Guinness has been very tight-lipped when it comes to their trade secrets.

Sagittarius:  Sapporo.  Because you’re adventurous, and so was the guy who created it.

Capricorn:  Yuengling.  Because you’re determined, and so was Yuengling when they stayed afloat in Prohibition by making “near beer” with basically no alcohol.

Aquarius:  Stella Artois.  Because the tarot card for Aquarius is the “Star” card, and “Stella” means “star” in Latin.

Pisces:  Heineken.  Because you like pleasing people.

..

Have a great Thursday, and in the words of Tupac Shakur (who was shot on this date in 1996):

“Watch for phonies, keep your enemies close, watch your homies.” 

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